Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
