if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I touched a dick in church today
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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