I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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