Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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