is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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