Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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