Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
