Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
