return my video game
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
