dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
