Girls should come with a carfax report
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
