I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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