Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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