Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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