its not stalking. its research.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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