i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
