Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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