dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
