Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
what the fuck happened to the tacos
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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