im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
