At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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