it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
