i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
