He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
