Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
