Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
