the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
