i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Sext me about skeletons
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
