before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
