I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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