i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
