I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
