i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you didnt know i had herpes?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
