By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
As shirtless as possible
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
