So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
