I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize