Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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