i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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