She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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