playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
