I wannas sexs uuuuu
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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