I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
