he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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