when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize