therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
