just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
