My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
