we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
