So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
