I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
