O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
