fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
