Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Randomize
