I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
