The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
