in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
