I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
