this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
