I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize